Many prayers have been answered as I have struggled through this nightmare of sickness and the miracles of restoration. Through the power of the priesthood, I returned to the healing process, and hence, to the pathway of normal life. Radiation continued – and the Chemo therapy moved forward. Of the radiation, less than fifteen treatments remained. That dramatic process took the shape of a weekday countdown that went eventually from two hands to one — as the bright crimson, tissue-paper thin skin of my throat repaired itself and cease to “agonize at the slightest touch.” However, the targeted and focused nature of the radiation therapy continued to burn the cancer away — on the inside. The final day of the fiery process – half a month ago — ended in genuine celebration. What I experienced was a genuine miracle. But in the end, it was only a milestone. And there was still no end in sight.
Life and the medical treatments progressed on at the clinic. But new kind of pain now took center stage in a new and singular way. I had heard chemot was like being sick all the time. I had heard correctly. My sore throat continued, accompanied by a constant cough, upset stomach, and taking of medication that made it impossible to get a good night’s sleep. Prayers and priesthood influence continued to sustain us. And still there was no end in sight. To finish chemo was the next big milestone. And on Monday of this week, I enjoyed my last chemo treatment and I went from that last session to the hospital – (not one of my scheduled milestones) where I remained for the next two days. Again, my body responded to quickly to transfusions there. Surprising doctors, I continue to do surprising things. There is no end of the miracles in my life. And of that — there is no end in sight.
I am home again now. Therapies continue to be applied at the clinic. And again there is no end in sight. I have been so blessed. And of them I testify. I bear witness of the constant blessings of a loving Heavenly Father who continues to be my daily comfort, guardian, guide and stay. I bear gratitude for the heavenward pleas of so many of this world’s angels who have served us with love and goodness. I thank God for the regular gifts of the Spirit in these times of trial. And I acknowledge the tender mercies of loving Father in Heaven. But of course, we all acquainted to with those.
I pray that we may always remember what great things the Lord has given to us – in times of bounty as in times of trial. May I leave that testimony before heaven and earth. I know the goodness of God and his children. And of the reality that there continues to be no end in sight.
Of that certainty and of the certainty that life extends beyond what we know to be as mortality into the realms of eternity I also bear witness with all my heart. Yes, life can be a struggle. The pain is intense, on occasion, and growing. But I am still here.
And of that I also point out — there is no end in sight.
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A couple of thoughts on persistence…
In a 1910, two volume biography called “Edison: His Life and Inventions”, an anecdote was shared by an associate of Thomas Edison’s named Walter S. Mallory. Edison and his researchers had been laboring for five months, at that point, on the development of a nickel-iron battery.
“I found him at a bench about three feet wide and twelve to fifteen feet long, on which there were hundreds of little test cells that had been made up by his corps of chemists and experimenters. He was seated at this bench testing, figuring, and planning. I then learned that he had thus made over nine thousand experiments in trying to devise this new type of storage battery, but had not produced a single thing that promised to solve the question. In view of this immense amount of thought and labor, my sympathy got the better of my judgment, and I said: ‘Isn’t it a shame that with the tremendous amount of work you have done you haven’t been able to get any results?’ Edison turned on me like a flash, and with a smile replied: ‘Results! Why, man, I have gotten a lot of results! I know several thousand things that won’t work.’
Your situation is both better than this, because you HAVE gotten results…and the miracles to facilitate them, and worse…because Edison was NOT in constant pain while making the effort.
The common factor being the no end in sight and not giving up.
I’ve shared with you my experience with overly curious and aggressive pack of wolves. (I still have not had an explanation of their actions: They never call. They never write ; )
At the tender age of 16, I was working as a lumber jack in northern Canada. It was less than two months till my 17th birthday. In the first two months of work, I fell through the ice in a river and had a tree fall on me. Not on the same day, thankfully.
What I took away from the tree incident was, basically, never play catch with a falling tree. (But I’m pretty sure it was actively AIMING at me.)
The result of cutting trees while it’s snowing, means you get wet. Hit a tree with an ax or vibrate it with a chainsaw, and every fluff of snow on every branch finds a home on your head. Trudging through deepening snowbanks on the river in soaking wet and heavy clothes at the end of the day makes balance-walking on some cut trees a good idea, as it gets you out of the snowdrifts. Until you slip off and fall horizontally through the ice.
Then the situation turns from bad to worse and downhill from there when, after extracting yourself from the water, you arrive at the mouth of the river to total whiteout. NO idea which direction to walk to obtain medical help for your now worsening pneumonia…which has already weakened you to the point where you cannot arm wrestle a lame gerbil.
Not yet being a member, but having a great relationship with God…I pray. Heavenly Father reminds me of a game I had played where I had targeted a point across the frozen lake in my mind, tucked my head down, and only lifted it once I got to the other side…to see how close I got to my target. I nailed it every time.
And suddenly all of those complications are just incidentals. I had an inspired plan.
But of course…
I still had to do the work.
The snow drifts were getting deeper by the minute and I was getting weaker by the minute, my concentration was off, the wind was getting stronger. Ice crystals were forming in the fibers of my clothes. Warmth was a distant memory.
I would fall and then fight to get back up. And momentarily panic…remembering that I could not even be a hair off course. Because if I missed the town on the first try…I would be dead. Because there was no way I could muster up a second try.
What was normally an hour’s walk turned into many hours.
Just being brave enough to put one foot in front of another, until warmth and safety and healing is found.
Keeping going. Not giving up. One foot in front of another.
Simple, yet painful.
Being obedient to God IS sometimes scary…stepping into the unknown.
It’s not unknown to God.
I love this of yours…
“I pray that we may always remember what great things the Lord has given to us – in times of bounty as in times of trial. May I leave that testimony before heaven and earth. I know the goodness of God and his children. And of the reality that there continues to be no end in sight.
Of that certainty and of the certainty that life extends beyond what we know to be as mortality into the realms of eternity I also bear witness with all my heart. Yes, life can be a struggle. The pain is intense, on occasion, and growing. But I am still here.
And of that I also point out — there is no end in sight.”
Sir, I have no words of wisdom nor can I even imagine the pain you have endured but I do continue to pray for you and of those prayers, there is no end in sight.